Britain Celebrates Being Allowed To Call Its Cars European Again
The UK has welcomed France dropping its opposition, provided Britain matches EU tariffs on Chinese electric vehicles.
BRUSSELS, Britain greeted France’s decision to drop its objection to the United Kingdom’s inclusion in the European Union’s draft “Made in Europe” automotive legislation with measured delight, confirming that history still has room for irony, provided somebody files it correctly.
There is a condition. The British government must match the EU’s tariffs on Chinese electric vehicles. A man standing beside a printer called this “the diplomatic equivalent of being invited back to a club after agreeing to wear the club’s hat.”
By Linda Sources.
“We just did not expect the reunion to involve tariff alignment.”
Across Britain, people inspected the phrase “Made in Europe” from several angles. They held it up to the light, then compared it with old photographs of the country leaving the European Union. Eventually, the label went beside a tea towel reading “Sovereignty, But Make It Automotive.”
“We always knew Europe would notice our absence,” said Pippa Quill, deputy coordinator of the newly formed Committee for Selective Continental Belonging. “We didn’t expect the reunion to involve tariff alignment and a form completed in triplicate.”
The automotive sector began preparing for the chance that its vehicles would again qualify for the sort of continental identity normally extended to cheese and football tournaments, as well as people with bicycles fitted with baskets. A prototype badge reading “European-ish, Pending” was put beside a stapler. For safekeeping, apparently.
That settled the car question. It created another one: whether Britain can now call itself European in other narrowly defined situations. A government-approved horoscope from the Office of Temporary Belonging said citizens could use the term “near a factory, in a trade document, or when pointing at a map,” though arguments about fishing remained excluded.
In an anonymous government corridor, officials held a small celebration. They gave a cardboard car cut-out a European passport, then immediately asked it for proof of address. The mood stayed buoyant. One filing cabinet reportedly whispered that Britain had achieved its long-held dream of leaving the house, returning years later, and asking whether dinner was still available.