Weird
The world, but slightly to the left of where it should be.
Parrot Bypasses Airport Security To Challenge Everyone In The Terminal
A green bird turned an O’Hare terminal into a one-beak martial arts tournament before airport staff restored order.
Eight Capybara Pups Bring Isle Of Man To A Complete Standstill
Record crowds have reportedly halted normal island activity while eight baby rodents sit motionless and reconsider the concept of movement.
Beauty Spots Form Union After Visitors Start Looking At Them
Hotels and scenic destinations restrict photoshoots, prompting local scenery to demand lighting, breaks and the right to be admired directly.
Lower Wombley Gadget Lets Users Turn Any Room Into A Different Weather
The DrizzleClick 9000 promises instant indoor weather, provided users are prepared to apologise to the furniture.
Bus DJs Offered £100 Fine Waiver If They Can Name Their Own Song
A new scheme in Lower Wombley will distinguish antisocial noise from a legally recognised mobile nightclub.
Bus Passengers Told To Prove Their Tinny Music Is An Intentional DJ Set
Proposed £100 fines for loud phone music on buses could force commuters to submit playlists, stage names and a convincing bass drop.
Bus Inspectors Demand Proof That Loud Music Is A Deliberate DJ Set
Passengers face £100 fines unless they can prove their tinny phone audio is an intentional public performance with emotional depth.
Peace Breaks Out After Fish Discover Mushrooms And A Grievance Procedure
A study found calmer mangrove rivulus fish, prompting Lower Wombley’s aquarium to prepare for the first aquatic labour dispute.
Nightjars Form Union After Discovering They Cannot Sprint
A migratory bird's aerodynamic compromise has triggered an imaginary labour dispute involving speed limits, snack breaks and one furious clipboard.
Bike Shop’s Sewer Stench Promoted To Permanent Department
A south London bicycle shop is working outdoors while the smell establishes a union, requests office space and begins issuing permits.
Shrivelled Vegetables Form Union After Pumpkin Harvest Falls
Drought-hit growers suggest painted root vegetables, prompting turnips to demand wages, dental cover and a seat at the Halloween table.
British Forecasters Alarmed By Suspiciously Pleasant Autumn
With no named storms yet this season, weather experts have begun preparing emergency complaints and a ceremonial wind sock.
Scrapple Sculptors Warn Breakfast Mush Itself Is Becoming Too Competitive
Artists at Philadelphia's annual scrapple contest discovered their raw material had formed a union and was demanding smaller spoons.
Lower Wombley Pigeons Open Night School For Confused Streetlights
Residents say the city’s pigeons are teaching streetlights to blink in Morse code, despite neither species having exams on the calendar.
Britain Passes Peak Sheep, Enters Uncharted Wool Territory
As sheep numbers and lamb consumption fall, the nation’s remaining flock has formed a committee to discuss what happens next.
Lower Wombley Festival Replaces Every Town Clock With A Yoghurt
Residents gather for the annual celebration of fermented timekeeping, despite nobody being able to explain what time now tastes like.
Cannons Demand Union Recognition After First-Class Helicopter Joyride
Three corroded castle cannons have reportedly discovered workplace rights, luxury travel and an intense dislike of ordinary maintenance.
Sea Vomit-Sniffing Dog Wins Animal Of The Year, Triggers Emergency Bureaucracy
Sgiath’s marine detective work has inspired a government department, three confused seals and one deeply emotional filing cabinet.
Loose Horses And Donkey Halt Texas Traffic For Emergency Rodeo
Two horses and a donkey wandering near Interstate 35 were secured, then reportedly demanded hazard pay and a smaller roundabout.
Lower Wombley Issues Permit For Its Own Puddles
Officials say every puddle must now be measured, numbered and approved before it is allowed to remain damp.
London Cat’s Dinner Raid Triggers International Feline Labour Dispute
A cat ate a dog’s dinner on camera, then apparently caused every household object in Britain to demand a lunch break.
Utah Highway Briefly Becomes World’s Largest French-Fry Restaurant
A burning trailer turns an interstate shoulder into an emergency fry-up, prompting potatoes to demand better working conditions.
Household Appliances Form Choir After Fridge Discovers Its Inner Falsetto
A toaster, three lamps and a deeply moved vacuum cleaner have joined forces to sing one note about being plugged in.
Municipal Office Queue Develops Own Gravitational Field, Trapping Tea Trolley in Orbit
Council officials urge visitors to anchor their clipboards after a frozen line for document stamps begins exerting planetary pull on surrounding office furniture.