Lower Wombley Gadget Lets Users Turn Any Room Into A Different Weather
The DrizzleClick 9000 promises instant indoor weather, provided users are prepared to apologise to the furniture.
LOWER WOMBLEY, A new gadget claims to let households alter the weather indoors. The Bramble & Socket Workshop unveiled it after its inventor accidentally set the kitchen to Thursday. Called the DrizzleClick 9000, it looks like a television remote in a very small raincoat. It will go on sale once the instruction manual has finished growing.
Sam Sideways, our technology correspondent, reports that the device has 14 settings. These include Indoor Fog, Decorative Thunder and one marked simply “a bit coastal”. Two batteries power it, along with a confident expression and the remaining optimism of somebody who bought furniture before measuring the doorway.
“We wanted households to have weather without all that tiresome outside,” said Marnie Quill, senior vice-president of Indoor Atmosphere and Emergency Umbrellas at the workshop. “The DrizzleClick suits people who like staring dramatically through windows but do not want windows.”
“We wanted weather without all that tiresome outside.”
The first demonstration took place at Lower Wombley Community Hall. Snow fell for six minutes over a tray of sandwiches. Then a small rainbow appeared and seemed to be looking for somewhere to park. An official from the Hall’s Committee for Sensible Carpeting said nobody was hurt, although one chair has applied for a transfer to the corridor.
That was only the beginning. Its most disputed setting, Forecast Replay, lets users revisit weather that has not happened yet. Testers enjoyed next Wednesday’s gentle breeze, then grew confused when it arrived early and asked whether it had an appointment. A man standing nearby said the episode had made him “more respectful of curtains”.
Bramble & Socket also says the DrizzleClick can make a personal cloud for anybody who has misplaced their mood. It follows its owner from room to room, hums quietly and will not answer questions about humidity. The warranty excludes lightning, hail and “all weather that appears to have an agenda”.
The cardboard box contains the remote, a complimentary poncho and a note from the Department of Unnecessary Forecasting. Customers are advised to keep the device away from pets, soup and Tuesdays. Quill said the workshop is now developing a phone charger that works only when the phone feels appreciated. “We are close,” she said, “but the charger has become emotionally unavailable.”