UK-EU Food Deal Celebrated As Paperwork Agrees To Lose One Sausage
Diplomats hailed a post-Brexit breakthrough after border paperwork developed feelings and requested a shorter form.
BRUSSELS, The UK and EU have agreed the wording of a draft deal meant to cut post-Brexit border checks and food-export paperwork. Administrators across the known universe observed the occasion.
Form 17B lost a line in a brief ceremony, then asked for representation, dental cover and a chair with lumbar support. Officials refused. The chair was still awaiting clearance.
Nadia Broom, Acting Coordinator of the Sausage Documentation Union, said the organisation had followed events from a refrigerated filing cabinet. “At last, the paperwork has been reduced to a manageable emotional burden,” she said.
“At last, the paperwork has been reduced to a manageable emotional burden.”
The union speaks for sausages, pies, and one unusually determined jar of pickled onions. They have sought humane export conditions since the first border stamp landed on a pork product. Fewer boxes are requested, along with a lunch break and the right to be addressed by a preferred snack category.
A spokesperson for the Department of Border Feelings said producers should spend less time filling in forms and more time considering whether those forms were proud of them. Several application pages had started humming during meetings, the spokesperson added.
That was progress of a sort. The hardest part concerned a checkbox asking whether a consignment contained animal products. It said the question required an ethical judgment for which it had received no training. The tick mark said it had worked beyond its contracted hours.
The draft now enters review, consultation, and the customary period of staring at a binder. If the Sausage Documentation Union approves it, the remaining paperwork may be placed in a circle and asked what it needs.