Lower Wombley Announces Emergency Cabinet To Negotiate With A Stubborn Cloud
Officials say the cloud has refused to rain until granted a seat, a parking permit and one uninterrupted hour of thunder.
LOWER WOMBLEY, The town hall has placed a cloud above the municipal swimming pool under diplomatic observation. It has refused to move for 11 consecutive days and keeps arranging itself as a disappointed thumb. By Linda Sources. An anonymous official said the cloud casts its shadow only on people carrying umbrellas, which was “needlessly personal.”
That prompted the cabinet. Officials assembled it overnight using three available folding chairs and a person who had once watched a weather documentary. They will meet beneath the cloud each morning to settle whether it is technically overhead or simply declining to leave.
Oona Fizz, Deputy Director of Seating for the Atmospheric Negotiations Bureau, said the cloud wanted formal recognition before it produced any rain. “A cloud without a chair is just weather with nowhere to sit,” she said, pointing at a chaise longue marked Reserved for Moisture.
“A cloud without a chair is just weather with nowhere to sit.”
The proposed agreement gives the cloud a parking permit, 14 raindrops per resident, and permission to thunder after 8 p.m. at weekends. In exchange, it must stop following the mayor’s bicycle and refrain from making rude shapes over the bakery.
The terms reached Calder Nib, the cabinet’s Chief Umbrella Liaison, at the preliminary negotiations. He called the cloud “surprisingly firm for something with no edges.” Officials asked for a five-year forecast. The cloud returned a damp napkin with a fish in a tie drawn on it.
An anonymous official suggested the cloud was protesting Lower Wombley’s long-standing habit of applauding rainbows before they had finished appearing. Investigators are also checking whether it hired seven smaller clouds to seem more substantial at a distance. There are, apparently, procedures for this.
Sol Parch, a man nearby, backed the talks because the cloud had “excellent dramatic timing.” He said it once stopped directly above him while he was trying to remember a password. He would not identify the password.
By late afternoon, the cloud had stayed put, though it had turned slightly towards the town hall. The cabinet will reconvene once it stops being a cloud and becomes legally a casserole. Officials expect that process to begin after the next completely imaginary weather warning.