Scientists Unveil Pocket Device That Gives Objects A Brief Sense Of Direction
The Wayfinder 3000 reportedly persuades lost items to walk home, provided they have legs, a destination and modest expectations.
LOWER WOMBLEY, A pocket-sized gadget that gives ordinary objects a temporary sense of direction was unveiled here Tuesday. Several lamps then left the demonstration hall in an orderly, entirely unnecessary migration. Called the Wayfinder 3000, the device finds north by asking north where it would prefer to be.
Dr. Ludo Quibble, chief orientation officer at the Institute for Unfinished Directions, said it contains a compass, a teaspoon of moonlight and a small committee of magnets. The magnets meet every third Thursday. Press the brass button marked “probably” and nearby objects develop a mild preference for somewhere else.
At the public demonstration, a red umbrella moved 14 centimetres toward a coat rack, then lost interest because of a decorative fern. A teaspoon did better. It crossed the table and stopped beside a biscuit, which stayed where it was but appeared to be considering the matter.
“Everything will simply be somewhere else, with purpose.”
“We have achieved a major breakthrough in navigational uncertainty,” said Professor Nessa Broom, the institute’s senior chair of chairs. “Until now, objects either knew where they were or did not. The Wayfinder gives them the exciting middle ground of having a vague feeling about it.”
The moving objects came with limits. A warning on the device, written in handwriting that changes whenever read, says it should not be used on pets, children or furniture with strong opinions. Users should also keep it away from drawers containing batteries, old receipts or a key missing since 2014.
Researchers said only previously misplaced objects respond to the signal. New purchases have not yet accumulated the emotional history required. A man standing nearby said his left sock immediately tried to find its partner, then returned after learning the other sock had moved on with its life.
The institute plans a larger household model for next spring. The launch date remains uncertain because the prototype keeps relocating the calendar. Early versions should help books reach their shelves, direct crumbs toward the bin and persuade remote controls to stop hiding in the sofa. “Our long-term goal is a world in which nothing is ever lost,” Dr. Quibble said. “Everything will simply be somewhere else, with purpose.”