Bills Discover Overtime Is Legally Allowed To End In Their Favour
After Buffalo’s 37-34 overtime win, a government office has finally explained the rules to everyone, including overtime itself.
LOWER WOMBLEY, The Buffalo Bills beat the Los Angeles Rams 37-34 in overtime on Monday night. Josh Allen got his first overtime win, and Buffalo learned that the extra period can, apparently, conclude in its favour.
Sam Sideways reports that people had spent years treating overtime as a ceremonial corridor where football games waited for a responsible adult to intervene. It turns out it is part of the game. The Lower Wombley Office of Continued Play has now entered it in the records as such.
“We reviewed the paperwork and overtime is not a museum exhibit,” said Prunella Vex, deputy registrar at the Bureau’s Department of Events That Keep Happening. “A team can go in, score and leave. This is astonishing news for everybody.”
“Overtime is not a museum exhibit.”
That finding unsettled the equipment. The official game ball, Geraldine, formed a union with three goalposts, a down marker and one deeply emotional orange pylon. They want water breaks, an explanation of sudden death and advance notice before anyone calls them “in play.”
The Bills won when Tyler Bass kicked a 45-yard field goal in overtime. Before that, the Rams had a field-goal attempt blocked. The Department of Repeated Kicks called it “a strong argument for having a second plan,” then declined further comment because its comment form was also in overtime.
Officials held a press conference inside a filing cabinet. By then, overtime had reportedly gained sentience during the final drive and submitted requests for a name badge, a lunch allowance and permission to refuse future tie-game assignments. “I was designed to extend the contest,” Overtime said through a small brass intercom. “I wasn’t designed to carry its emotional arc.”
The consequences may spread. Extra innings, added time and tiebreakers have filed for emergency clarification, while a committee of badgers has been asked to explain the regulations. The badgers are demanding collective bargaining rights and will not begin work before sunrise. For now, Buffalo has its first overtime win. The score stands, and the rulebook remains under observation for further signs of consciousness.