American Football Welcomes London By Starting With A Queue For Ejections
The Jaguars and Eagles opened their London game by turning the opening kickoff into a full administrative ceremony.
LONDON, American football introduced itself to the capital on Sunday with a midfield confrontation before a second had left the clock. Nobody could say it had taken the cautious route. The Jacksonville Jaguars and Philadelphia Eagles had barely started when an opening kickoff return touchdown was called back, then the kickoff itself was ordered to happen again after two players were ejected.
Londoners received the condensed version. Very large men ran quickly, a simple-looking procedure became hard to explain, and somebody on a committee decided the beginning required another beginning. The scoreboard remained untouched. It had not yet been invited into proceedings.
“We felt the usual introductory speech would be too predictable,” said Percival Niblock, deputy director of the Bureau for International Sporting First Impressions. “So we presented the city with a disciplinary puzzle and a fresh kickoff. It was either that or hand out scarves.”
“We presented the city with a disciplinary puzzle and a fresh kickoff.”
The touchdown vanished from the record, apparently because the game had not completed the paperwork needed to qualify as a game. Officials replayed the kickoff, allowing the ball a second entrance into the afternoon under terms acceptable to the increasingly ceremonial authorities.
That left the nearby spectators to interpret events. One man said he assumed the players were observing an American custom in which every occasion opens with a brief argument over whether it has technically opened. This seemed in keeping with football’s wider attitude to time, distance and shoulder pads.
By the time play resumed properly, the match had already produced the kind of opening usually saved for a season finale, a parliamentary inquiry or a wedding where two relatives have been placed within speaking distance. The ejections showed that the sport had found the nearest escalation button and pressed it before anyone could put a cover over it.
The London Department of Sporting Explanations, which exists only on match days and closes before difficult questions, called the introduction “highly educational.” Visitors, it said, could expect further lessons in stopping, restarting and treating a complicated incident as part of the arrangement. “We are delighted to report that the clock remains available for future use,” said acting registrar Maudie Quench.
By the final whistle, the confrontation from the opening moments had faded into the general noise, which is how American football handles an afternoon containing several separate beginnings and reviews for each. London had seen the game. The game had seen London. Both requested a replay.