Linda Sources
Linda has sources everywhere. Her sources have confirmed this. She cannot reveal them, mostly because they are her.
West Coast Mainline Achieves Sentience, Rejects Wrexham Train To Focus On Its Own Wellbeing
Transport regulators have cancelled new direct routes after the railway tracks declared they are emotionally unavailable to take on any more Northern towns.
Giant Sentient Stack Of Customs Forms Wades Into Channel Begging UK To Rejoin EU
The colossal pile of paperwork has offered Britain the top bunk in parliament and promises it has been going to therapy since the breakup.
Neighbourhood Association Requires Clouds To Submit Permits Before Raining
The Maple Heights residents' committee insists that local precipitation must complement the approved beige colour palette of the subdivision.
Budget’s Two-Pronged Attack Leaves Island Asking Where To Duck
Two options for Guernsey’s 2027 budget have prompted criticism, proving that even arithmetic can arrive with a tactical formation.
Unpopular opinion: QR-code menus should be banned
Linda Sources argues that scanning dinner is an avoidable ritual invented by tiny rectangles with suspicious confidence.
Sentient Mayfair Playground Equipment Audits Fleeing Billionaires Over Unpaid Taxes
Ultra-wealthy individuals are abandoning the UK after local caviar sandboxes unionise and solid gold slides begin demanding a twenty percent VAT surcharge.
Oakland Asks The Cloud To Please Wait Outside For 45 Days While They Figure Things Out
City officials have set up folding chairs at the border for billions of uncompressed vacation photos and software updates to sit in until the moratorium is lifted.
My Sources Say My Sources Are Excellent
An exclusive look inside the most trusted network in journalism: me, asking myself.
Parliament Passes Bill Requiring All Bills to Be Shorter
The legislation ran 1,200 pages and has officially been referred back to itself for further review.
Dishwasher Wins Local Election on “Clean Hands” Platform
The appliance ran unopposed after its only rival, a blender, was ruled too loud to campaign.
New Orleans Installs Home Battery Backups, Buys One Colossal Spare Just In Case
The city has placed a massive alkaline cylinder in a giant municipal junk drawer alongside old cables, just in case the entire grid runs out of juice.